i don’t text my brother very often
JUST GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER
"there is nothing straight about your destiny, young warlock"
for my followers who are werewolves
for my followers who are dating werewolves
to all my followers that want to avoid werewolves
for all my followers who want to become werewolves
And all of a sudden they could be playing Sirius and Remus instead…
Did you know? Prom is coming up! And you have a right to express your gender identity. Your school may be violating the law if it doesn’t allow a female student to wear a tuxedo or a male student to wear a dress.
reblogging for my followers who will be going to prom this year
"i’ll just open this fic on another tab so i can read it later"
SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME.
The nun squat
the mother fuckin nun squat, yo.
Snails Kiss On Cherries [photo by Vyacheslav Mishchenk]
on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
Welcome to Britain
i have no interest in small talk tell me about ur childhood and what ur parents are like and how many siblings u have and if u are afraid of death or if u believe in an afterlife and what ur favorite movie is and if u like romantic comedies or horror movies or action movies and what kind of music u like and why and tell me the bands or artists u loved in middle school but are too ashamed to admit to anyone else
My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.
Oh my GOD.
Extreme dad jokes.